Have you been living your life wondering why there are so many things to complain or whine about, and why you can’t help but notice them? And are you wanting to find a way to take control of this habit of fussing and complaining? In this article, I will be sharing with you 5 tips on how to stop complaining and be happy, or in other words, how to make your thought patterns more conducive to thinking constructively. Let’s get started!
Whenever your mind is trained to the habit of complaining, it will go looking for things to complain about next. It will naturally look for things that are wrong or not pleasing, and will have the tendency to assume that something bad is going to happen. It will magnetize to itself more of the things that the mind is accustomed to thinking. But when you become conscious in your thoughts and start deciding that you will not intentionally look for things to be offended or dissatisfied about, you will begin training the mind to release its attachment to displeasing things. When you stop yourself whenever you are about to complain on something, that is, catching yourself on the act and then deliberately deciding to choose otherwise, then you are already breaking the pattern of this kind of habitual thinking. The habit has already been broken once you are already conscious of it. You have stepped out of the habit and you’re not anymore contained by it.
Whenever you are looking at something that in your mind merits a complaint, try zooming out the situation, and place yourself farther away from it and above it. This will give you a broader perspective on what you are to complain or whine about. In doing so, you will notice that you are, more often than not, making a big deal out of something that is not too serious when seen for what it truly is. Sometimes things become too serious for us when we are too close and too specific about the situation, seeing it as something that threatens our happiness or affects us tremendously. But seen from a broader viewpoint, most things loose their heaviness and become somewhat minuscule and unimportant in the grander scheme of things. You will see most things as irrelevant and do not deserve feeling bad about. Lessening the seriousness of things makes you live lighter, not anymore easily annoyed or disturbed by things you would normally be complaining about before.
Sometimes we complain because we feel the urgency to prove ourselves right and to make another person or situation wrong. We complain because we want to exert effort into forcing something or someone to change, so that we can feel we somehow won and feel better again. But it is important to know that complaining never makes you a winner in the energy game. Complaining takes you farther from feeling better because as you push against the things that you do not want, you activate the unwanted feeling in your energy more and more. You are essentially amplifying and attracting it into your life. Complaining also trains you to become dependent on things outside of you changing first before you can feel better.
Whenever you choose to feel good, more than proving yourself right by complaining, you are choosing to prioritize yourself first rather than making the outside circumstance control you. You are taking charge of the way you feel, and not letting the ego’s urge to be right to take the best of you. You’re able to bypass the need to complain because you know that you deserve to feel good and no situation can take that power away from you.
When complaining, we sometimes have the tendency to over-dramatize the situation, making it too big to handle than it really is. We have the tendency to conclude all sorts of things and overthink the situation. Whenever you are confronted by something you feel the urge to complain about, practice seeing it first for what it is, using neutral words and objective analysis, rather than getting emotional and making assumptions right away. Refrain from dramatizing the situation, automatically seeing yourself as the victim and starting accusing another as wrong. Be a neutral observer first, instead of being so caught up in the middle of your own story in your mind. Do not assume that what is happening is a personal attack to who you are. Detach from any dramatic words and thoughts that you may initially have so you can easily refrain from taking things too personally.
Refrain from intentionally exposing yourself and your mind to information that encourages complaining. What you put your attention to will just grow into more. You can instead choose to expose yourself to media that inspire and motivate you to become better, and instill positive thoughts and habits into your life. Remember that the seeds you plant in your mind will be what you’ll reap in the future. So make it a conscious choice to stop complaining at its roots by starting to plant positive seeds in your mind’s grounds.
Through constant daily practice, these five tips on how to stop complaining will gradually make you a more peaceful, relaxed and stable person, who doesn’t get easily bogged down by what’s going on around you. By becoming deliberate about your own thought patterns, mental habits, and perspectives, you will then be leaning more towards the things that feel good rather than participating in activities that you know won’t serve you.